Cinar Beach, Gekova Bay

The weekend before I flew to Turkey, I attended, with Anne, a Bowel Cancer Patients' event at the Royal College of Surgeons - the College was a noble building - ionic columns framed its entrance - oil paintings of distinguished surgeons were hung upon the walls of the wide, silent, corridors - I stared for a long time at the sculpture of John Hunter - I remembered how the knife man had purloined the skeleton of James Byrne - Hunter sat there, chin resting upon his right hand, his icy intelligence frozen in the marble -

There were talks, workshops and one to ones - patients, like me, had blue name badges - carers, like Anne, had white name badges -

In the afternoon, there was a relaxation workshop - we all sat in a circle, patients and carers, in a panelled room - dark portraits of surgeons in frock coats looked down upon us - some of the surgeons had extraordinary beards -

The facilitator was a gorgeous bouncy girl - she told us how to cope with scan anxiety - we were taught how to breath, how to clench and unclench groups of muscles - the idea was that such exercises would induce tranquility -

I want you to think of your favourite place she said - I thought of Cinar Beach - I was sitting by the shore of Gekova Bay - tall oleander bushes shaded the rough and ready cafe tables - wavelets splashed upon the pebbly beach, just a few yards away -

A fresh water pool emptied into a clear stream, which ran across the beach in an icy necklace of foam and pebbles - you would gasp when you swam through its water -

I had been to this place many times, often in a scorching August or September - lithe creatures had splashed in the sea - I had swam amongst them, my pale body turning brown in the sun -

You can wake up now, come back - I responded reluctantly to the words of our facilitator - I had wanted to stay there, on Cinar Beach -

A week or so later, I was there - we ate, Jane, Ken and myself, a huge breakfast - we were the only patrons at the cafe - I did not swim this time, although now I wished I had -

It rained - huge warm drops of rainwater fell from the skies - I saw the rain move towards us, across the bay, like a glistening curtain -

I wondered what I would see, if that curtain parted, and showed what lay beyond it -