A shadow held my hand ...

I looked up to see the moon - 

It was low in the sky, just above the rooftops - 

I heard its pale secrets in the quiet streets - 

A shadow held my hand - 

18.48

Wednesday 31 January 2018

West Street

Wareham

Dorset 

Falkland Square ...

I counted the homeless people in Falkland Square - 

There was the man with the penny whistle, the girl with the pinched yellowy face kneeling outside Specsavers - 

I walked amingst indifferent shoppers - 

Seagulls flew overhead - 

An escalator carried me up into Sports Direct - 

I breathed in the smell of rubber - 

T-shirts hung from racks like piteous flags - 

15.00

Tuesday 30 January 2018

Falkland Square

Poole 

Watching late night TV ...

I'm watching late night TV - 

I'm sounding the depths - 

Soon I'll see the Smoking Man - 

Mulder will hear terrible truths in an underground car park - 

Perhaps there'll be a horror film - 

I Walked with a Zombie will be a cure for melancholy - 

23.00

Monday 29 January 2018

The Old School House 

East Stoke 

Dorset 

Saying good bye to Nat ...

Nat Kimg Cole would often sing inside the lounge of memory - 

His sings measured out each long afternoon - 

Evrn now, when the chairs are empty, I can still hear that silky voice - 

12.10

Sunday 28 January 2018

Staunton Road

Havant 

Hampshire 

Lost inside ...

The care staff were kind and gentle - 

ITV 3 was murmuring in the lounge - 

My mum woke up when we were leaving - 

I'll be lost inside she said - 

18.00

Saturday 27 January 2018

Belmont Castle 

Portsdown 

Hampshire

I'll keep the Rubaiyat close to my shameless heart ...

After a glass my dad would recite the poems he loved - 

He'd learned them by heart as a boy, or later as an eager chippy - 

I'll keep his copy of the Rubaiyat close to my shameless heart - 

The bird of time he'd say - 

Lo! - the Bird is on the wing - 

His eyes shine with dawn's new light - 

He'd look across the carpet as though across the courtyard of a caravanserai - 

19.00

Friday 26 January 2018

The Old School House

East Stoke

Dorset 

Pearls chilled from heaven ...

 

A few moments ago, hailstones fell upon the pavements of the small seaside town - 

There were pearls, still chilled from heaven, in my hair - 

I took shelter here, in Java - 

I had given away my father's books - 

Each day the small house would be emptied - 

I sipped my cappuccino - 

I half eavesdropped the late morning conversations - 

I thought of my own house - 

That too, in time, would be emptied - 

I felt the sadness of those who would clear it, the shape of the bones under my skin - 

12.07

Thursday 25 January 2018

Java Independent Coffee House

Swanage 

Dorset 

Wearing a young man's bones ...

I placed one of the African heads upon the window sill - 

If I opened the window, I'd hear the bright surf, guarding a fragrant shore - 

I'd see my dad, wearing a young man's bones -

21.44

Wednesday 24 2018

The Old School House

East Stoke 

Dorset 

Another country ....

I'm waking up in the early morning -

One moment, I'm in my dream London, wandering amongst stately museums, or in a whispering labyrinth -

The next, I'm lying awake, afraid to look at my watch -

The stairs are thick with shadows -

I can still see the terrible room, the still unmade bed -

The new day is another country -

The words spoken there are unknown to me - 

20.00

Tuesday 23 January 2018

The Old School House
East Stoke
Dorset

I waited for an owl to call my name ...

Gathering pine cones, I gazed up at the evening sky - 

There was a crescent moon above the quiet world - 

The leafless apple tree was lapped by uncut grass -

The air was soft with gentle voices -

I held the moon like a token in my hands -

I waited for an owl to call my name - 

16.52

Monday 22 January 2018

The Old School House

East Stoke

Dorset 

The ladder ...

It's like going up to a diving board my dad had told us -

That's how it is - 

There are other chaps ahead of you, climbing up the ladder - 

Then it's your turn, and you're on the diving board - 

There's no one ahead of you - 

*

I thought of those who had climbed up the ladder before my dad -

His older brother, Bill - 

Almost all the members of the Class of 43 - 

Uncle Vic - 

His sister, Eileen - 

Larry, who'd been a good dancer - 

The boys at The Dogs - 

*

I saw the ladder resting upon the warm  earth - 

I felt its rungs under my feet - 

The higher I climbed, the colder was the air - 

16.21

Sunday 21 January 2018

The Old School House

East Stoke

Dorset 

Do we live in Ruritania ? ...

I found my dad's Party Card amongst old doctor's letters - 

There it was - 

It reminded me - 

My dad was red to the core - 

Longing for a socialist republic - 

How he'd guffaw when he saw the Royal Family on telly - 

Some absurd ceremonial - 

Look at those ridiculous uniforms he'd say - 

Do we live in Ruritania ? - 

17.55

Saturday 20 January 2017

The Old School House 

East Stoke 

Dorset 

A dazzling mirror ...

Walking to Bramble Bay, we left a trail of footprints in the sand - 

They were like the words we'd spoken - 

Shining waves washed them away - 

The sea was like a dazzling mirror - 

10.40

Friday 19 January 2018

Studland 

Dorset 

Uncle Bern in Belmont Castle ...

We were like piranhas at the table Uncle Bern said - 

Piranhas - 

He sat back in his chair, next to my mum - 

You alright Pegs? - 

He smiled his wicked tender smile - 

One of the care staff went by - 

Ships passing by in the night he chuckled - 

I'll find the bar - 

A few moments later he came back - 

There seems to be no bar he said - 

Shall we go down the road ? - 

16.59

Wednesday 17 January 2018

Belmont Castle 

Portsdown 

Emptied of memory ...

We turned on the lights - 

The small house was cold - 

Already it was emptied of memory - 

16.21

Wednesday 17 January 2018

Staunton Road

Havant 

Hampshire  

The last paper he ever read ...

Each day my dad would read The Times - 

He'd wait impatiently for the paper girl - 

Sometimes I'd have to drive to the newsagents if she was late - 

Each day the same -

The Times then The Portsmouth Evening News - 

Anne took home the last paper he ever read - 

There it is - 

6 Staunton Road - 

The headlines, the date, the day before he died - 

16.17

Tuesday 16 January 2018

The Old School House

East Stoke

Dorset 

I carried him inside myself ...

Without thinking, I piled up a few coins on the mantelpiece - 

I then remembered how my dad would do the same - 

He'd pile up the pound coins left over from Waitrose -

He'd also jingle the coins in his pockets - 

I wondered if I did the same -

When I looked in the mirror, perhaps one day I would see his face - 

My voice would become his voice -

My hands, his hands - 

I had carried him inside myself since I was born - 

19.47

Monday 15 January 2018

The Old School House 

East Stoke

Dorset 

Buddy Bolden's Blues ...

This morning I heard Buddy Bolden's Blues -

Jelly Roll Morton played his louche piano - 

I thought of my dad - how he loved Jazz - 

Before he left for The Dogs he'd listen to this 78 - 

He'd put on his jacket with lapels a mile wide - 

  

He'd adjust his bootlegger's tie - 

The Admiral Beresford would open its doors - 

The Class of 43 would gather round - 

Jelly Roll stroked the keys - 

A bluesman sang - 

Thought I heard, Buddy Bolden say - 

The nasty and dirty, take it away - 

I thought I heard him say - 

11.00

Sunday 14 January 2018

The Old School House

East Stoke

Dorset

A dark window opened ...

For a while this afternoon, making the fire, things seemed to be as they always were - 

I picked up pine cones in the garden - 

I watched Anne sip a Marmite bouillon - 

Then, as though a dark window had opened, I gazed upon a sorrowful memory - 

*

I saw again the room where my dad had been taken -  

He was washed by strangers, then left alone in a narrow bed - 

He had held out his hands, three times, wanting to be taken home - 

20.16

Saturday 13 January 2018

The Old School House

East Stoke

Dorset

This is an ending ...

This is an ending - 

An unmade bed - 

A chair - 

A glass of water left untouched - 

An emptied room - 

The echo of a breath - 

15.00

Friday 12 January 2018

Belmont Castle Care Home 

Portsdown 

The rooms would be empty ...

I read some verses from the Book of Daniel - 

The air I breathed was chilled by ancient memory - 

I gazed at the wall painting of the Saint, carrying the Christ Child - 

My namesake felt the weight of heaven - 

Outside the church, oak trees netted silence from the sky - 

A world I'd known since childhood was ending - 

The small house would be closed up - 

The rooms would be empty - 

14.00

Thursday 11 January 2018

Whitcombe

Dorset

Sheep grazed in a golden field ...

I stood amongst the birch trees - 

The sun was low in the January sky - 

Beautiful melancholy light fell upon the water meadows - 

Within the ring of quiet trees my heart was eased - 

Sheep grazed in a golden field - 

15.30

Wednesday 10 January 2018

East Stoke 

Dorset 

Weirdly familiar strangers ...

 

When my mum had gone to bed, I looked inside the wallet - 

She'd been opening and closing it all afternoon - 

She'd fallen asleep on the settee, clasping the worn scrap of leather to her chest -

Now she lay in her dreams, under sheets washed clean this morning - 

My dad had given up watching Morse - 

Soon he'd totter up the stairs - 

The two of them were becoming strangers to me - 

They were figures made up of shards of memory - 

Every so often, I'd see them as they were - 

Then, before my eyes, they'd turn into strangers once more, each one weirdly familiar, yet different - 

I opened the wallet - 

There was my mum, with me and my brother beside her - 

We're different people, too - 

When she was young, my Aunty Sylvie thought my mum looked like a film star - 

18.30

Sunday 7 January 2018

Staunton Road

Havant 

Hampshire 

QA's rammed ...

The paramedic was starting his night shift when he saw my mum - 

He said she had Community Acquired Pneumonia - 

He prescribed antibiotics for her -  

The hospital would be the worst place for your mum he said - 

She'd be waiting six hours in the ambulance before being seen - 

QA's rammed - 

In an interview, the Prime Minister said but of course nothing's perfect - 

21.50

Sunday 7 January 2018

Staunton Road 

Havant

Eating an almond bake ...

I ate an almond bake in Havant Costas - 

We would be staying overnight in the small house - 

My mum needed to go to the doctor - 

My dad was a bundle of sticks in his armchair - 

Nat King Cole sang they tried to tell us we're too young -

I would reckon the time now by each song Nat sang - 

10.57

Sunday 7 January 2018

Havant Costas 

Going to Java ...

After we'd rolled up our banner, we went to Java - 

We'd worked the pavements, gathering a hundred signatures for the petition - 

Lee had charmed oldsters with his gentle smile - 

Dads pushing buggies had growled the cuts must stop - 

A visitor from Wales said so you're not all blue -

The comrade from Worth Matravers sang the first verse of the Internationale - 

Once more, I felt part of a movement - 

I was doing something - 

I remembered the shining shirt cuffs of Richard Drax, Michael Tomlinson's pink chin - 

Grizzled men took down the Christmas lights - 

It got colder - 

Icy waves broke upon the town beach - 

Inside Java I sipped a cappuccino worthy of Old Street - 

I forgot, for a while, the lounge of memory - 

12.30

Saturday 6 January 2018

Java Independent Coffee House

Swanage

Dorset

 

Spring tide ...

The pristine foam washed away our footprints - 

Dunlins skittered across the sand - 

Dogs plunged into the shining waves - 

Shells were like timeworn coins - 

Leafless trees overlooked the narrow shore - 

Our shadows went before us - 

The spring tide had taken us by surprise - 

11.30

Friday 5 January 2018

Studland

Dorset