Getting my blood test results, looking at the sea from Houns-tout Cliff

Just over two years ago, I had an operation to cut out a small portion of my lower bowel - a small scar, shaped like a crescent moon, along with 3 other very small scars, mark the site of the key hole surgery - 

I had been diagnosed as having bowel cancer - I had ignored all of the symptoms in the hope that they might go away - the symptoms just got worse - I was bleeding profusely - I could smell the coppery smell of my blood - 

Anne made me see sense - I had a blood test - CT and MRI scans followed - I had a gastrosopy, colonoscopy and a flexible sigmoidoscopy - I then had the key hole surgery - Mr Quereshi, the grave and empathetic surgeon, saved my life - 

I was fortunate enough not to need chemotherapy or radiotherapy - nor was resort made, as it might have been, to a stoma - I shall always remember the joy of waking up after the operation - every sensation was so fresh and wonderful - 

I am now living with cancer - every sixth months, I must have a blood test - once a year I am passed through the white hoop of the CT scanner - the invisible kingdom inside my skin is surveyed - you are always aware of a dark creature, your own cancer, moving just out of the light -

Jan, the Specialist Nurse, told me today - your blood is fine - I can not describe the sense of relief I felt - before I was called in I could feel my pulse beating madly in my throat -

Four weeks or so before my blood test, I had looked down at the sea from Houns-tout Cliff - shafts of light from the clouds lit up the sea - when I looked closer, I could see the faint grey outline of a ship, scarcely visible, just below the horizon -

I looked for some time at the patches of bright silvery light upon the sea - I thought of the words surprised by joy - I thought of how grace flows where it is least deserved -

Today, when told my good news, I remembered the bright circles of light upon the calm sea - I resolved not to be lazy - I knew that I must not take my life for granted -

This was another reprieve - I resolved to make more use of my talents, to explore as much as I could of the worlds before me - I knew in my heart how deep the sea was, how fleeting was the light -